C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
