i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
