...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
