I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
