I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
