I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
