Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
