just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
