I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize