Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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