Nicole vs. Life
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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