I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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