Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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