Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
