I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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