nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize