it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
