he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
