whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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