So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Let the clothes fall where they may.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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