3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
