Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
