I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
