when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you win again, gameday.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
