yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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