I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
