I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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