so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize