I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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