I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
