So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
People in love make me want to vomit
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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