Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
