so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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