; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
