im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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