please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
