The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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