if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
