go do what you do best...puke behind churches
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
