Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
