I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
