Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
