8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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