Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize