he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
