biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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