I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
