you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize