I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
