Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize