My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
