Its about making memories worth repressing
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
