think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
