how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize