so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
