I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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