You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
