So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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