ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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