Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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