just tell him i said nine months
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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