Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize