I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
